Sociologist Ray Oldenburg describes third spaces as the social environments outside of home (first space) and work (second space) where people connect—coffee shops, gyms, bars, hobby groups, and other places that foster community. These spaces aren’t just about socializing; they create a sense of belonging.
When I started working remotely after COVID in 2020, I lost more than an office—I lost my second space. Work had been a built-in social hub, a place where casual interactions and friendships formed naturally. Even before moving to Orlando two years ago, staying connected with friends had already become difficult. Between COVID, family obligations, and frequent travel with my wife, spontaneous hangouts became rare. Moving made it worse.
In college, my third space wasn’t a café or a bar—it was my friends’ parents’ houses. We spent hours there, watching TV, gaming, and just existing together. After college and before I got married, the gym became my third space, providing structure and familiar faces.
Now, my closest third space is the bar downstairs, where I’ve become friends with the bartender and talk to tourists. I also fly back to Atlanta regularly to see friends and visit Albany to see family. Between those, I’m not sure I need another third space.
Maybe third spaces don’t have to be as fixed as they once were. In different life stages, they change, and right now, mine is more fluid—sometimes the bar downstairs, sometimes a trip back to where I spent most of my adult life. Instead of searching for a perfect replacement, I’m leaning into what already works.
For now, that feels like enough.
